Torn

I am all for people pursing dreams and goals, finding new jobs, moving, and making big life decisions, as long as it doesn't affect my life. As long as their choices only change things for them, then I am ok. I don't want close friends to move away. I don't want new careers to affect the amount of time I get to hang out with them. I don't want them to marry people I don't like. They can have babies, as long as we are still going to hang.

So that being said, I received a phone call from an organization in Texas looking to possibly hire my best friend at work. Of course I said nothing but good things about her, but upon hanging up, I wondered what would have happened if I had trashed her. Could I keep my envirnoment the same at work, avoid big changes, and be happy for a while longer? Could I keep things the same?

I used to think of myself as someone open to change, but the older I get, the more I like things to stay the same. I enjoy my comfort. I like that I can count on things from day to day. I guess its time for me to change. Though I still don't want this friend to move far away to Texas, if it makes her happy I'll do what I can to make it happen. Despite how it affects me!

I won't bring it up again

I know that I have pretty much reached the limit of times I'm allowed to say that I am not ready to go back to work. I know that I have Twittered it many times. I've probably said something about it in my Facebook status several times. This is the last time I am going to complain about it. I won't really have any more opportunites as its 8:04pm the evening prior to returning. I am planning on going to bed at 9:30 to make sure that I have some rest. Until then, I am going to compile a list of reasons why I am not ready to go back to work. Then I shall make some closing remarks. After that, I will have to let it go.

Here begins my list:
1. I am tired. I can't imagine making it through a day without a nap.
2. My boy just started smiling, and every one I miss is a crushing blow to my mommy ego.
3. Things could be changing big time at work, and I am not sure I'm ready for those changes.
4. None of my clothes fit. Maternity clothing is too big. Regular clothes are too small. I really don't know what to wear.
5. I have to spend time pumping, which, while it shouldn't be, is uncomfortable and makes me self-concious.
6. My daughter just started really liking me again, and I don't want to lose that.
7. The View
8. Dr. Phil
9. Its really cold out, and lately I've had a choice about whether I want to go out or stay in.
10. Did I mention naps? I really like them.

All in all, these and I'm sure there are more, are reasons I am not ready to go back to work. Thanks for listening, and I think I will try to let this be the end of my complaining.

I'm Not Going to Write About How Cold It Is!

Below you will find a list of things I like.

Foods I really enjoy:
My homemade Chicken Chili
Almost anything with Marinara sauce
My special meatloaf recipe
Georgia chopped pork from Famous Dave's
Aranda's Mexican food
Chan's Gourmet in Aurora
Linda's Pizza in Joliet
Aurelio's Pizza in Joliet (now called Cemeno's)

Books I like:
See those listed on my blog. You will find them on the right side of the screen

Favorite Bible Verse:
Epehsians 3:20

Hobbies I enjoy:
Reading
Crocehting
Cross Stitching
Minimally playing guitar
Cooking
Singing
Laughing
Writing

US Cities I really like to visit:
Portland, OR
Boston, MA
Houston, TX
Austin, TX
San Antonio, TX
Seattle, WA
New York, NY

Music that I like:
There are way too many to list. Everytime I would look at this blog later I would want to add more bands. So just know that I like tons of music.

My favorite toothpaste:
Crest

Things about pancakes:
I like them with chocolate chips and whipped cream

Random fact:
I am a wealth of medical knowledge

Favorite Pizza Toppings:
Either veggie minus olives or just cheese and onions.

This was a tiny distraction for me. A distraction from the state of how things are right now that I am not going to write about.

To Blizzard or Not to Blizzard?

I have had wonderful English and Speech teachers over the years who were adamant that one never begin a paper or speech with the following, but bare with me as it has a purpose.

A blizzard is defined as:
a. a storm with dry, driving snow, strong winds, and intense cold.
b. a heavy and prolonged snowstorm covering a wide area.
To quote dictionary.com.

I ask you then, when is this blizzard coming to the midwest? We have been under a blizzard warning for the past 24 hours. Apparently the definition of the word blizzard no longer applies. A good friend of mine stated, "I wonder if the meaning of the word blizzard was changed to mean 'a softly falling snow.'"

Seriously, there is nothing liking scaring people into hunkering down for 24 hours of pure winter hell. I happened to go to the grocery store yesterday, as I have lately been venturing out on Mondays because Jeremy is home with the kids. I kid you not, people were filling their carts with canned goods. Soups, chilis, canned vegetables, as if they were going to be snowed in for days. There is nothing at all like worrying people into a frenzy of winter supply shopping only to have them wake up to a couple inches of soft pretty snow and minimal winds. When did the definition of blizzard change? And if this is a blizzard, what does a real snow storm look like?

I have never really been one to be totally bothered by winter weather, but I ask God, haven't we had enough? Its only mid-January and we have had a ton of snow, and bitterly cold temps. This week is supposed to be the coldest week since 1996, and I remember that winter. I remember school being cancelled that year, not due to snow, but due to the bitterly cold temps and wind chills. It was so cold that they were worried about kids standing at bus stops for too long, or trudging to school only to show up with frost bite. Especially since the kids that went to my high school tended not to have the money to dress appropriately for winter. I am officially done with winter this year? Anyone else?


What I envision as a "blizzard."

Whats the big deal with boobs?

***May contain information not appropriate for children's or husband's eyes.

I have never understood the big deal about boobs. I've never had them. I've always wanted them, but never could afford to purchase my very own pair. I just assumed I would never have them. Then I had kids. And bam! There they are. The unfortunate thing about it is, they aren't really mine. There is a baby telling me what to do with them when, and quite frankly I'm a bit disappointed! I am so glad that I am able to nurse my children, and thankful for that opportunity, as I know not everyone is able to. But this whole process is puzzling. Those of you who have been through this experience can probably relate. I am never quite sure if the kid has really gotten enough to eat. I'm trying to get him on somewhat of a schedule, as it won't work with my schedule to nurse on demand. My boobs don't want to cooperate. One day they feel like they are going to explode, and the next I'm not sure if there is enough in there to take care of business. Then one day he is a ravenous eater and can't get enough, the next barely interested in nursing on one side per feeding, much less relieve the pressure on the other side. This only confuses the boobs and the owner of the boobs more. I know things will work themselves out and that the boobs will adjust, as will Miles, as will I. But seriously, these things are supposed to be sexy? How does that work when they are so complicated? I would be much easier if chins were sexy. They don't seem to change too much over time. Or maybe hands. Oh well. . .what can you do?

Dr. Pepper, you make the world taste better

For years I have struggled with a serious addiction. An addiction to Dr. Pepper. Some of you may read this and laugh, but its true. Those of you addicted to Diet Coke may be able to relate, and I know you are out there because I hear it all the time. I rarely go a day without drinking at least one Dr. Pepper. Whenever I am in Texas, I try to stock up on the Dr. Pepper made with pure cane sugar because it tastes better. While pregnant, though I know that caffeine is discouraged, I had to ration my Dr. Pepper intake, and drink it only on special occasions. I searched high and low for a caffeine-free version, thinking it would be as simple as going to the store, but I was not successful. Then as I am tooling around the internet, what to my wondering eyes do appear, but a place to purchase caffeine-free Dr. Pepper online. However, I am dismayed, because it is much pricier than buying the regular stuff, at $10 per 24 cans, a $5 dollar packaging fee, and $23 dollars to ship via regular UPS. I ask myself, is it worth it? While I am still nursing and need to keep my caffeine intake somewhat lower, especially at night if I want my kid to sleep, I am seriously contemplating purchasing some. I could drink an unlimited amount of Dr. Pepper without risking caffeine overload. How amazing is that? Life is beautiful. Truly beautiful, without question!

To the New Year

Ok, I, like every other blogger out there, will make short commentary on the passing of 2008 and the entrance of 2009.

This year has been a challenge for me professionally and personally. Work was harder this year than it has been in a long time, and I'm not sure that there is a specific solution to make it better. So, I just truck on and hope.

Personally, the addition of another child to our family is the most wonderful thing that has happened this year. It is also THE MOST challenging thing as well. Adding Maggie to our family was an easy transtion. Adding Miles is a ton more work. Chasing Maggie and keeping her out of trouble on a minimal amount of sleep with a newborn attached to me the bulk of the day has been very difficult. I wouldn't change it for the world! They are both beautiful!

I have seen friends on rollercoasters of life, enduring extremely difficult situations, sick family, loss of jobs. 2008 was a rough year for many people, not to mention businesses. I have seen friends marry and have children. It has truly been a journey. Most of all I have made new friends, and grown closer to those that I already knew. For this I am truly thankful.

As I reflect on 2008 I can't help but be thankful that its over. I look forward to 2009 with renewed hope for everyone, and thankfulness for all that I do have.