Downswing

Today I had another moment of realizing how completely alone and frustrated I am.  With constant foot pain, my physical activities are limited.  I had a really dumb down morning and got mad at the two little kids for pretty much just doing what two little kids do.  Then, with our efforts of breaking the littlest little of her pacifier, I decided to make one of those 30 minute trips to the shoe store sans binky.  I spent at least that long trying on gym shoes, and all my effort was in vain.  No pair of shoes fit comfortably with my orthotics, and my children acted like miniature demons while in the shoe store.  Never again will I endeavor to purchase a pair of shoes with children in tow.  Upon buckling all the kids into the car I promptly began to cry.  Which was fine with Margot since she was already screaming like a banshee because she didn't have a pacifier. 

Poor, poor Miles.  Margot screamed the entire way home, and even more upon me removing her from the vehicle in a frustrated manner.  Everything in me was SCREAMING, "GO GET MCDONALD'S, IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.  A CHEESY, DELICIOUS MCDOUBLE AND A HOT, SALTY LARGE FRY WITH A COKE."  It took every ounce of strength with in me to turn the corner into our subdivision instead of caving to my emotional eating.  Its taking every ounce of strength within me not to hide in the bathroom with a blanket and the gallon ziploc bag of chocolate chip cookies I made for the kids the other day.  Today I am sad, and I'm fighting stuffing my emotions with food.  :(