Sunday, December 14, 2008


Okay, so I know I am a bit of a germaphobe. I like anyone else, hate to be sick. But I think I'm beginning to pass the acceptable level of germaphobia and cross into an unhealthy obssesion. I realize that having a newborn in the house makes it worse, because I worry for him as well as myself. However, I am struggling very much right now. I think that I honestly worry so much about getting sick that I make myself sick. Currently, there are several wicked viruses making their rounds through work, extended family, and church. Luckily, with a newborn, I have avoided all the people that are sick, by staying home on maternity leave. Some day soon I will have to venture out of my bedroom sanctuary and expose not only myself, but my new son to the germs all around. I can deal with a cold. Somehow, those are not nearly as frightening. What I am TERRIFIED of is a stomach virus. I hate throwing up, though I am better with it now since I threw up so much during the first trimester of my most recent pregnancy, but the thought of throwing up and caring for my newborn scares the crap out of me. Still worse is the thought of him getting sick. Why is it so scary for me? I'm having anxiety just typing about it? And why is a stomach bug so much worse, its usually over in less than a day, while a cold can turn into sinus infections, bronchitis, and ear infections and last well over a week. How do I make this unnecesary worry leave me? It comes in waves. There will be times in my life where I don't worry about it as much. And then there are times like now where thinking about it causes me to panic. Pray for me...I think I may be mentally unstable. Perhaps its the hormones readjusting thats causing me to stress unduly. Who knows. This too shall pass. . .along with my nights of constantly interrupted sleep. I'm a zombie, maybe that has something to do with it as well.

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