Tough Week

This week has been a tough week for me. I have alot going on between work and children. I totally missed a dentist appointment. I never miss those. I have a cute dentist. I try to make all of my appointments. ;)

Aside from that, I have several friends going through some tough times. I have to say that I am blown away by the way God is moving in and through these situations. Something sad or hard doesn't have to determine a person's outlook or attitude. Something hard or sad can be a beautifully challenging and trying experience that changes you for the better. I'm currently struggling, debating, and delving into issues I have left untouched for many years. Recent events have made them even more personal, so I feel like I have no choice but to jump. I am questioning things about my faith, though not my faith in itself. While its tough, and I want an easy answer, I feel refreshed by the challenge. There is something uplifting about truly seeking God's answer to questions, even if there is no "right" answer.

As Miley Cyrus (or her songwriters) so appropriately said, "It ain't about how fast we get there, it ain't about what's waiting on the other side. Its the climb." Cheesy comparison, but its true. Every day I am thankful that I get to be part of this great adventure. I have big dreams and hopes. I can't wait to see what is in store for our family, and I am ready for the challenges that are ahead. I see how the world gets in and tries to keep things from happening, and I think that God and, myself, with His help are so much bigger than it all. Yeeha life! Here I come.

Insomnia and TMJ

I can't sleep. I started reading a new book and it has me both excited and disturbed at the same time. It makes me question all my life choices and wonder what I can do now that they have already been made. What does it mean to be a radical Christ follower, and how do I make that abstraction a reality in my own life. What sort of changes will it require me to make? How do I step out of my comfy suburban box and into the cold hard world? To be honest, I rather enjoy my comfy suburban box. Its got snacks, cable tv, socks and sweaters, and a nice place to bake treats for my friends. (Like cobbler for Lucas in case he is reading this.) I guess I just want to see myself making a difference even if I can't run off to Calcutta at this juncture. I feel like I am on on the verge of change, or more importantly hope. I feel hope stealing into my soul and pushing out the cynical bits one at a time. I don't know what all of this means but I'm looking forward to the opportunity to really show myself and God that I do want to make a difference. I am terrified of letting go of the familiarity of work and daily life, but thrilled at the prospect of making a real difference. It can happen where I am now, or somewhere else. I'm just trying to be open. I'm sick of grinding my teeth in my sleep from the stress and anxiety I've been feeling day to day. I'm trying to take a deep breath in, and slowly let go. Wish me luck or say a prayer.